Take Me To The Ocean
My mind is swirling with things to share today. It feels like waves are crashing over and over and I can’t just pick one thing. I saw a great talk on critics and how to keep showing up and doing what you were created to do. I had a hard talk this week which left me confused but proud. I got a job this week after a couple months of looking. I am enduring the worst summer ever with the temperature comfortably hanging out in the 40’s F (5-10C).
Medical school begins for my husband in three short weeks. My job and learning curve starts after the weekend and my life swirls around me being ever so annoyingly imperfect. Life will change again soon and even though we had twelve glorious days of warm on our holiday it just doesn’t seem like enough. I longed for rest and warmth and refreshing this summer that didn’t exactly happen. I’m wrestling more with my gifting and how I’m using that. I’m grappling with what it means to be a wife, mom and so much more than those things. I’m starting in a new job with a high learning curve. I’m trying to make sense of chaotic relationships and boundaries that I know are good and healthy. I’m longingly looking at my swimsuit wondering if like toys in Toy Story it feels sad when it’s not used.
As life takes new shape over the next few months I will continue to make my mantra present over perfect . My goal is not perfection this year but to be present in the life I’m living. It’s unknown, messy, beautifully exciting, sad, adventurous and full of surprises, and all I can control in all of it is me. And on my best days lately I haven’t even done that well, but I will continue taking steps toward being present not perfect.